September 11, 2020
My Bong Collection
I own 16 bongs and I’m nowhere near finished collecting! Today I’m going to show you all of my bongs from least favourite to most favourite and tell you exactly why they’re rated that way.
Let’s get right into it with what my boyfriend and I like to call “Clint”
#16 - We call it Clint because let’s be honest, who’s ever met a guy named Clint that wasn’t a total cunt right? Nah just kidding – no offence if your name is Clint haha ‘Clint’ just sounds like ‘cunt’ and this bong is such a cunt. It’s our smallest bong in size and that no doubt has a hand in why it’s so shit.
I initially bought it because I thought it was adorable! I mean look at it! It’s so small and cute!! After my first pull of this bong I no longer thought this bitch was kawaii. In fact we keep this bong purely for how bad it is! Me and my boyfriend created a randomiser bong game that chooses which bong you will pull out of and having this ‘Clint’ in keeps the game interesting.
#15 - Ok so actually don’t know if the gravity deserves second least favourite.. I might have to tie this guy with Clint.. This bong goes stale STRAIGHT away.. This bong is another that’s thrown into the randomiser bong game that you do NOT want to get.. infact I’d probably rather a Clint now that I’m thinking about it..
#14 - Now this is another bong I bought on aesthetics and I think the name explains itself – but if it doesn’t – we call it genie cuz it looks like a genie lamp. The worst part about this bong is the cone piece is connected to the stem; so loading up this guy is quite the hazard. My boyfriend hates this bong so much that we have to keep it in the cupboard where no one can see it or be reminded of its existence much like Harry Potter at the Dursley’s house. ⚡
#13 - Now, it kind of breaks my heart to put this so low on the list of favourites as this was the first bong I ever bought. It’s called daily because the second bong we bought was Clint so.. obviously if you had this guy plus Clint this guy is gonna be your go to – a given!
#12 - Eileen also doesn’t deserve to be this far down on the list as she pulls nicely however – it only gets better from here! Ilene got her name from her prominent lean; a manufacturing fault? No. a special feature for a special little girl, Duh!
#11 - If this bong wasn’t broken it’d rate way higher due to the fact that I can share a hit with my boyfriend – CUTE! There’s a slight crack on the under-side so it slowly leaks water.. one day we’ll fix it but our attempts have proved futile so far..
#10 & #9 - Up next are our twin rainbow bongs! My boyfriend knew I wanted a luminous rainbow bong (for a very long time) so he ordered one from Canada for my birthday!! YAY! but unfortunately when it arrived it appeared to have a pinhole right underneath the downstem (on the seam) aww! :( He let the supplier know and she sent out a new one and also allowed us to keep the bong with the hole in it! YAY AGAIN! We super glued it up and kept both!! TWINNING!!! – how good! 🌈🌈🌈
#8 - Grace Glass – can’t go wrong – I bought this one most recently for my boyfriend’s birthday, he had no idea, you would think he would have caught on by now… dude, you’re getting a bong for pretty much every occasion lol!
It pulls nicely, plenty of filtration and time for the smoke to cool a bit.
Nice design 👌👌 and really can’t go wrong with these guys, they make some nice glass!
#7 - Holey Moly! This bong is awesome! Sick to hold, sick to pull from and sick to look at.. I’m noticing the more I like about a bong the less I have to say about it haha I guess a picture is worth a 1,000 words (sorry for the cliche lol) but seriously, how cool is this design?!
#6 - We called this girl pink bits because -not only the pink accents and the fact that it comes apart- but because I once knew of a very rememberable guy who had a porn website called pink bits so its a bit of an inside joke about that guy. He was… eccentric? hahaha. 💗💗
Red & White Grace Glass 🔴⚪
#5 - Probably the least imaginative name right? This one (as with every Grace Glass product we own) pulls beautifully and is great quality.
One of the nicest touches on this one is the blacked out glass around the waterline, a small detail, but it’s the small details that count! This is probably the boy’s number one fave (outside of #2), not sure if it’s the occasion it’s attached to for him or if it’s the way it' pulls but it’s probably his go to nowadays.
#4 - This guy is our most expensive bong to date.. and I mean.. look at it! He’s amazing!! When we bought this bong.. we could not afford it but who the hell could walk away from this bong! Like seriously!!!! Ooft need I say anymore.. I mean the thing looks like a jellyfish in a jar!
#3 - I have a soft spot for beaker bongs.. they are so good looking and great to hold. Also – I love a bong without a choke! – I’m very lazy when it comes to smoking and it just makes it easier ya know.. not having to move a single finger… haha!
#2 - You might be surprised to see a ceramic this high on the list… right?
Now this one would get my boyfriend’s number one but it’s my number two. This is our actual daily – great basic brass cone piece, smoothest pull, and surprisingly good mouth feel despite how it looks it would feel.
I think it’s the shape on the cobra’s collar that gives it a slightly unique smoke pull and the grip is just PERFECT, just a pristine example of basics done well.
Number one!!!!!!!!!!! I got this guy on Christmas Day!! Great name right?! This bong is by far my favourite – never had a bad hit from it… nah that’s a lie hahaha I’m sure I’ve left some clouds in there for too long and had a stale hit… or 2… But just trust me this bong is so fucking good.
Full disclosure, this is the first bong I was “gifted” from the boy and I also have an obsession for Christmas which might have me confused for an elf around that time of year.. hehe
Wow! We’re done!! How good 16 down! Fuck I need a billy now
Let us know in the comments below which is your favourite out of our collection and feel free to submit your most unique bongs to us via our
Instagram page here or email us at email@example.com
–Until next time guys xx
All blog posts are for entertainment purposes only, Smoke Milk does not condone or endorse the use of illicit or controlled substances. All
products displayed and sold via Smoke Milk are sold with the intent for legal smoking herbs only and we encourage you to check your local laws and regulations before proceeding with a purchase. To read more on please see our T&Cs
Back to Smoke Milk Blogs | Written By Stoners, For Stoners